QUOTE
When struggles of life seem so heavy to bear, don’t ask God to lighten the load but ask Him to strengthen your back for you to carry them.
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WORD
1 John 4:4
Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.
I am sad.
My soul is down.
My heart is crying.
My mind is thinking: "Did I do something wrong?"
Why am I having this feeling again?
Why do I feel so alone?
Why am I so looking for something more than what exists or happens?
Why do I think that you are so far? that God is so far?
My heart is mourning….
God help me……
I have my faith and hope in you…..
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I wanna share this song that I also want to sing to God right now…
Song: Draw Me Close To You
Draw me close to you
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear you say that I’m your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
’Cause nothing else could take your place
To feel the warmth of your embrace
Help me find the way, bring me back to you
You’re all I want
You’re all I’ve ever needed
You’re all I want
Help me know you are near
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Sobra pala akong nakakarelate sa song na to ngayon. Kasi feeling ko iniwan ko si God at iniwan din kita… at sobrang layo niyo na sakin. Kaya I want to "Draw me close to you" and I want "to hear you say that I’m your friend." "Help me know you are near."
This is one of the songs ng retreat na nagstrike sa akin.
Title: He Knows My Name
I have a maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hand
Chorus:
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call
I have a Father
He calls me his own
He’ll never leave me
No matter where I go
Chorus:
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call
Nkakabitin ung retreat. But it was a good retreat because it satisfied my expectation - to have more time to experience God. It was a long time that I felt so far away from Him but I was not having the thirst for Him. And the retreat came, I realized my weakness. I found that there was no sense of fulfilment anymore in my life because I was far away from Christ. He said, "Apart from me, you can do nothing." I also realized that when I pray, its not a prayer anymore since prayer is not just a routine or a religious duty but it is communicating with God. It is not handing God our wishlist we ask from Him. He is not like a wishing well that you just throw a coin for your wish to be granted. I realized again that despite all the selfishness and pride, He just chose to love me. Just like my parents who loved me since birth despite the crying in the middle of the night, the poo-poo in the diaper that needs to be changed and others but they chose to love me. Ilang beses din ako pinaiyak doon. At nakakatouch at nakakatuwa ung mga palanca letters na binigay sa akin. I will miss that retreat. But I hope, all the learning and spiritual growth will not only work when a retreat or the like comes. I hope it continues even in school, in the house and anywhere.
